It’s a phenomenon sweeping the nation. Pints of rocky road and copies of Love Actually are flying off the shelf at alarming rates and it can all be contributed to one thing: You’re lonely. And it’s the dreaded relationship season. From the months of December to February, it is obviously 100% necessary that you have a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. Whatever. Point is, it’s cold outside and you’re not going to get that Patagonia pull over you had been planning to get from the significant other that you were totally going to have by the time the holidays rolled around. And that’s tragic.

What’s even worse is that you can’t even escape it. It’s everywhere, from that couple holding hands in front of you in the hallway (whom are walking way too slow), to the commercials that are making you sing “every kiss begins with Kay,” in your sleep. I mean I’m not expecting a diamond ring or anything but come on, a necklace? Earrings? Anything?

And don’t even get me started on New Years. In fact, don’t even participate in the celebration of New Years. It’s overrated, trust me. You’ll find much more enjoyment in a box of peppermint flavored oreos than you will at any mediocre party- and that’s a fact.

If you’re like me, one of the sane people in the world who gets physically sick at the sight of red hearts and pink bears, you’ll be very unpleasantly reminded that Valentines Day is coming closer and closer every day. It’s not all bad- at least there will be 50% off boxes of heart chocolate at Hallmark!